When parenting styles conflict

When you and your partner’s different parenting styles conflict, raising kids can become a stressful activity. But never fear, let us help ease the journey with these 3 simple tips. 

1) Identify your parenting style.

This involves talking about how you yourself were parented as a child. There are two common extremes: some people embrace the ways their parents brought them up and wish to model that behaviour, whereas other people wish their parents had done a better job and instead behave the exact opposite as compared to their own parents. 

There are four main parenting styles. Which one are you? 

a) Authoritarian

Aggressive and strict, these parents value obedience over everything. They commonly use punishment as a means to discipline their child.

b) Authoritative

This is commonly known as the ideal parenting type; striking a balance between setting rules and developing an open, positive relationship with the child is the goal with this parental type.

c) Permissive

Also known as indulgent, these parents are comfortable with giving their child free reign over decision-making. The child and the parent have a linear power dynamic, almost like that of a friendship. 

d) Uninvolved

Uninvolved parents tend to be absent and offer little affection. This neglect can stem from lack of care, or from a lack of information on how to properly parent a child.

2) Discuss how your parenting styles can benefit each other, as well as ways to improve on them.

 Recognise the pros and cons of each parenting style and come to a compromise with your partner. For example, a permissive parent can help an authoritarian parent to understand the child’s perspective and adopt a more relaxed relationship with the child. Of course, this cannot work without continual improvement on each parent’s parenting style as well. Everyone is different, so figure out which style works best for you and your family. 

3) Recognise the consequences of inconsistent parenting.

It’s important to have a mutual agreement that you will not undermine your partner in front of your child, and vice versa. Inconsistent parenting sends the wrong message of disharmony across, and your child might even use that to his/her advantage. Either try to save the discussion for later when your child is not present, or invite your partner for a time-out during a heated moment of parenting.

At the end of the day, parenting is extremely tough; it’s a universal occupation for many but its execution is unique to each individual. If you’re curious to know more about different parenting styles across the globe, do check this post out.



Bright Horizons. (2020, January 6). WHAT IS MY PARENTING STYLE? FOUR TYPES OF PARENTING. https://www.brighthorizons.com/family-resources/parenting-style-four-types-of-parenting 

Morin, A. (2019, July 12). 4 Types of Parenting Styles and Their Effects on Kids, What’s Your Parenting Style? Very Well Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/types-of-parenting-styles-1095045